Hotaru thoughts
by Keikoku-Hotaru
Summary: This is Hotaru thoughts about some one he love's. Hotarux?
1. Chapter 1

This is my second fanfic, and I know both of them are boring. But still I try, and put them up. Yet I don't know why I do that.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the SDK characters. If I did there would be a lot of yaoi.

You may think that I hate you. It always seems like that, since where always fighting. To everyone including you, think that I hate you. But it's not true, I don't hate you. I never have, I've always looked up to. But after sometime it turn into something more than just that. I want to want to tell you, but I don't want my heart to be broken. Like it all ready is, and the reason why. Is because of all our fighting that we do. I hate saying all those mean things to you, when there not true. And then you say all those hateful words, it hurts me a lot. I don't know if you mean it. But still it hurts, my heart just keeps breaking. I wonder how many times can it keep breaking like it does. I know in the beginning that I hated you a little.

Why else would I have become fire, while you became water. The say opposites attract, I never believed it until now. Because you are water and I am fire. People say that fire and water are not allowed to be together. But I don't care, to me it's not true. The feelings that I have are for you is love. Yes I love you, people may call me crazy for that. Only if they knew that I love you, the only reason why I can't tell you these feelings.

Is because where brothers and brothers are not allowed to love one another. But I whished that we could be lovers. I love you so much, I would do anything for you. I would give you my body; heart; life; and soul to you. That's how much I love you. But I will never tell you, I whished that I could tell you. I never have any courage to tell you, I would like to have some. I know that I don't have any, because for so long. I have tried to tell you, yet I either.

Run away from you, or I say something mean instead. Which I hate so bad, I don't like running from you. Because it shows that I'm scared of you when I'm not. I'm only afraid of what you will say if I told you. There are so many reasons why I love you, my brother. The way that you move; the way that you dance; and the way you look. Plus there are more than just that. Because there is not a signal word to describe you all in one, or more than what I had just said before. There is only one thing that I want for you and that is happiness, and maybe the day that I will be able to say to you. I love you Shinrei.


	2. Chapter 2

I am standing here watching him as he dance. He looks so wonderful out in the rain, water is always best for him. I close my, I can hear the rain falling. But that is the only thing I can hear, even though my brother steps in water puddles. I can't hear any splash, that his because he is the water. I let out a soft sigh, I'm usually out here. Yet for some reason I am, and I don't understand why. I know I don't like water, maybe it's because he's out here. But maybe it's just me, I must be changing. Yun Yun told me when people get older they change, yet I don't feel like I've change. Then again I just might not be able to fell or see the change. Yet it fells so good to be standing out here, though I'm not standing in the rain. I'm under something so I won't get wet, I don't fell like getting sick. I don't know how he does it with out getting sick. But I for sure get sick every time I'm out in the rain. **THE WATER HATES ME**That was a little random, but it's true. I fell like it's out to get me on way or another. Which is death to me alone, dang water I hate you so much. I mean come on how come I get sick being out in the rain when I haven't done nothing to it. Why is it only me, okay maybe the others get sick every now and then get sick. But I'm always getting sick. Okay this is totally random, I guess I got a little side track. From what's really been on my mind and that is. Wait what is it? Okay it's on the tip of my tongue, just like that time I fought this one berserker who could this image thingy, and this guy with puffy white hair showed up. I still wondering who that guy was my brother would know his name. Oh yeah it was my brother who my thought's are on. I sighed once again; I've been doing that a lot lately. I had come close to telling my brother I love him; though I said I hate you instead of I love you. Of course I ran away before he could say anything. I had not really meant to say it; it just came out instead of what I really wanted to say. I fell like a big jerk, one for saying it. And two for not telling Shinrei I'm sorry. When I ran I went right to my room, and started to cry. I open my eyes to see what my brother was doing, only to find him not out in the rain. "Hotaru what are you doing?" I jump at the sound of my brother's voice which told me he was behind me. I quickly turned around to look at him. Though I whish that I hadn't, because when I did my mouth drop open. With him being out in the rain, his hair now clung to his face. And his clothes where doing the same to his body which made him, something can't think of the word. My vocabulary is not very big, I think. "Hotaru?" Crap I'm off in my own little world I forgot that he was here. "I don't know." I watched as he shock his head and what I had just said. "You where watching me as I dance weren't you Hotaru?" I crossed my arms; it was true though I would never admit it. "So what, like I would really watch you dance. I would rather watch the clouds." I heard him chuckle. Wait him chuckling did I do something, god I must be blushing badly. "You've been blushing little brother." Oh dear I must have all ready been blushing, he just called me little brother. Okay I have to say I must be hearing things, because he usually doesn't say that. "Okay so what if I was?" I turned away; I really don't want to face him. "Nothing, I was just wondering if you would like to join me." I blinked; my brother wanted me to dance with him. I turn to look at him, to see if this was not a joke. When I looked into my brothers eyes, I knew that this was no joke at all. This surprised me "I can't dance." Which was true, I haven't dance. I felt someone pull on my arm and drag me out into the rain. I knew it was my brother he was the only one out here. I looked at him as he started to lead me into a dance. I couldn't help but smile, just maybe there is a chance.


End file.
